J’ai toujours fait une prière à Dieu, qui est fort courte. La voici: Mon Dieu, rendez nos ennemis bien ridicules! Dieu m’a exaucé.
I always made one prayer to God, a very short one. Here it is: “O Lord, make our enemies quite ridiculous!” God granted it.
Voltaire probably wasn’t thinking of Bill O’Reilly and his paranoid “War on Christmas” bit when he wrote this, but given a time machine he could have been. Yes, it’s that time of year again: Fox News is yet again trying to show just how angry they can get over the smallest of things in attempt sell more of their hate — and it warms my cold, cold atheist heart. I don’t like Fox New and I don’t usually have a reason to watch it, but for the past couple of years I’ve made sure to catch all the “War on Christmas” bullshit because there is nothing more amusing that a bunch of adults trying to frame the phrase “Happy Holidays” as an attack on civilization. Seriously this is one bit of the 2009 coverage of their paranoid delusions:
Yes, kids, they are angry that Christianity isn’t being given special treatment. Come on, it’s oppression when you lump them with the Jews, Pagans, and African-Americans. Don’t you see that?!?!?! [insert bawling]
Bonus LULZ: The young woman who thinks people should be offended by “Merry Christmas” because it’s has nothing to do with Christmas and it’s just like saying “Happy Holidays” — which is why she can’t just say “Happy Holidays”.
The highlight of the “War on Christmas”-season, so far, has been Bill O’Reilly, Gretchen Carlson, Margaret Hoover trying to figure out why atheists hate Christmas:
The “theories” these assclowns come up with are:
- Margaret Hoover: They hate American culture
- Gretchen Carlson: They hate Baby Jesus
- Bill O’Reilly: They’re jealous of the presents we get
I’m not kidding, this is actually what they claim to believe. The best part is the basis of their claim that atheist hate Christmas is an ad that says “No God?…No Problem! Be good for goodness’ sake” and has people wearing Santa hats. This is all the proof these people need to claim that atheists hate Christmas. I forgot, it’s also because the American Humanist Association doesn’t put up ads saying similar things any other time of year — oh, wait, they do.
Couldn’t watch the whole O’Reilly* clip because it was so full of constipated reasoning. Sure, Christmas is a pagan holiday upon which Christian rhetoric was grafted (I mean, really, Immaculate Conception is Dec. 8th, and Christmas is Dec. 25th; was Mary pregnant for just 17d or for 382d?). And sure, it is An American Tradition, but that does not mean that most Americans are going to celebrate it as Worship. My mostly secular family still celebrates Christmas as a time to give gifts to one another and be together if possible.
Also, American Christians are lazy IMHO. They go to church weekly and they celebrate the major holidays, but they don’t have mass festivals with major effort as in the Catholic-pagan festivals of South America or the devotion of Ramadan or Eid. All they have to do is preach at the heathens and feel self-righteous and they have done their duty, surely!
*Bill O’Reilly annoys me not just for being a half-wit, but also because whenever I say “I’m reading the O’Reilly book on that” people automatically assume him instead of the incredible O’Reilly computer language books. At least the latter contains useful content.
The Immaculate Conception, if I’m not mistaken, actually refers to Mary not Jesus. So while massive flaws and nonsense abound in Catholic and other Christian Dogma, that is not an example.
I totally get you on the computer books. It used to trip me up a bit when I was looking through my parents’ bookshelves* and it sucks when good things share names with horrible men like Bill O’Reilly.
*They’re both software engineers so we have a ton of the O’Reilly books around.
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